woah its been a long ass time since i have written in here.
here is a survey of the 100 things that make me happy. :)

1. falling in love
2. laughing to hard, that your stomach and the side of your face hurts.
3. hot shower
4. bubble baths
5. swimming at night
6. no lines at the mall.. or anywhere for that matter
7. special glance
8. meeting random people
9. people that do stupid shit/random shit that makes me laugh. amen to the people that inhabit my pre-cal class.
10. driving at night
11. road trips w/ amazing people
12. concerts
13. sinking myself into my bed..i sleep on my stomach and always have my fan on and my comfetors wrapped all around me. im weird, i know.
14. cute email/text messages/phone calls
15. thunderstorms...they help me sleep.
16. hot towels fresh out of the dryer
17. milkshakes
18. good conversations
19. the beach
20. finding a bill on the stret or in an old coat etc.
21. laughing at myself
22. midnight phone calls that last for hrs (that have some god damn meeting or else your wasting my sleep :p
23. looking into someones eyes and knowing that they care
24. running through sprinklers
25. inside jokes
26. friends
27. compliments
28. over hearing someone say something nice about you
29. waking up and realizing that you have a few more hours to sleep
30. food
31. your first kiss (either the very first, or with a new guy)
32. makng new friends
33. email chains between people... ahh!
34. playing with a new puppy
35. having someone play with your hair
36. dreams
37. hot chocolate in the winter
38. swinging on swings
39. making eye contact with a cute stranger
40. big bear hugs
41. kisses
42. making chocolate chip cookies
43. cute cards, with nice written messages..i keep all my cards. or the thoughtful ones at least
44. holding hands with someone you care about
45. running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change
46. watching the expression on someones face as they open a desired present from you
47. sunrise/sunsets
48. traveling
49. white/red/pink roses
50. knowing that somebody misses you
51. knowing that you did the right thing, no matter what people think.
52. telling someone how you feel
53. snowflakes
54. blasting music
55. dancing
56. winning a match/tournament
57. cuddling
58. spending time with someone that cares about you/that you care about
59. political discussions
60. taco bell
61. good grades in economics :]
62. lollipops
63. fast cars
64. shopping
65. the feeling after you pee when you have been holding it for a long ass time
66. being able to trust someone
67. making a difference
68. good hair days
69. the feeling after you run a long time and you feel like your legs are about to fall off
70. working out
71. parties
72. football games
73. good movies
74. throwing glass bottles at a deserted wall
75. the feeling when your high of someone...like you can't get enough of them
76. re-pondering on good memories..
77. when a guy smells really good...lol
78. smelling a really good perfume
79. when no one leaves a cabinet door or door open
80. when people shut all the boxes
81. being able to relate to lyrics
82. playing the guitarr
83. releasing anger by screaming my heart out at a pillow or something
84. doodeling

....yeah thats all i have time for!
off to be productive and do some homework.

peace.

i am colorblind
     coffee black and egg white
                            pull me out from inside

        "i have no time to waste meeting people that just hurt me and don't care for my feelings, show me you care and i'll give you my time. show me that you aren't some asshole trying to take advantage of me and i'll give you any day, show me that you have class and that you aren't someone who is just cheap and trashy, show me you have personality and character. show me that you love me for who i am, and i will give you all the time in the world. until then i have no interest in meeting people that have no consideration for me."  

aghh i need intervention, attention to stop the temptation to scream...

i have realized that one can never truly understand anything one hasn't experienced, until, well you get the chance to do so. you can never assume it will be one certain way. you can't foretell anything. because in reality, who are you to say. don't even bother reading between the lines until you actually have a clear view, because we all know the gaps will just be filled with some fabricated lie. they don't hate you nearly as much as you think they do. starting is the hardest part. strength is more tangible than you'd ever give it credit for. laughs and smiles really are contagious. and yes, perfect kisses are addictive.

i have been volunteering at the hospital since the summer started and i have to say working with senior citizens, at first, didn't really appeal to me, but now my perspective has completely changed. Most of the volunteers there are people much older than me, which makes the experience much more thrilling in an odd way and at the same time knowledgeable. i love little kids and old people, because kids have lived so little and the latter, because they have lived so much. it's hurts me to see people so full of life and so down to earth abandoned by there family, simply because they don't want to take on the responsibility. it disgusts me on how people can be so inconsiderate.

i am beginning to depress myself, anyways..i think we all needed this summer. sophmore year has been quite..eventful. for a lack of better words. it was a "good riddance." we all needed some major time to cool off, and relax. and i say, this summer has been quite amazing yet productive, at least for me. i feel i have put myself to use.

i have been beginning to have deep bonding moments with music. it just seems to be the only thing that is keeping me sane and that is helping me get through things, besides shruthi & bani. i love those girls. and when i am not listening to music, my mind is a "whirlwind of lyrics."  i just don't seem to be able to focus anymore. everythings hazy and words just don't seem to mean anything anymore.

edittt///

so well yesterday, because i am writing this saturday, but technically the same day i wrote all of the above, which would be friday, i went to jasmines with bani, prachi, natasha, and some other girl. and there we met up with some punjabi guys, [mandeep, gursimran, etcc..] man there were some fine ass guys there. haha but basically i suggest you go, if you havn't been. the enviroment's great, and well hookah is alot of fun. hah i love you bani, you've made the last 10 years of my life pretty amazing. im gonna miss you while your at twu!

"fuck those motherfuckers"

bahahahaaa

yeah i'm out, fo real.

howrah bridge (3:55:45 PM): i mean those are the conditions of writing articles on public domain

yeah i kept two of my best entries, and put the rest on private. but im sure everyone has been emailed my recent entry, since korok took the time out of his busy schedule and decided to do me a huge favor and inform the entire clark ib community on how i shouldn't be allowed 20 feet of a computer; because my actions as of 2-8-06 classify me as the epitome of the downfall of humanity

haha weirdo. so knock yourself out, and enjoy.

yeah, i think im just going to use this thing to comment, or for personal entertainment.
it is a broadcasted blubbering adiction.

"open the  door. your anisha gupta. your life is waiting in the rain." bleh.

twisting words in my head, helps me untwist the world around me. funny how things work out..

and yess i am officially 16, a proud licensed driver. there are the three big birthdays: 21, 18, 16. drink, smoke, drive. for 16, i don't have a  car till summer, and 18 i will just vote, and 21 well...i'll be tanked off my ass. but as i was saying, i'm not having any great thing to celebrate. sweet sixteen..? more like sour sixteen. but, i do admit, it's been a pretty decent birthday compared to the past. we'll leave it at that.

in ninth grade, i used to be a hard core people-pleaser, but towards the end of the yr, it died down, though i still was. and then came sophomore year, BAM all this shit happened, and now i honestly am sick of trying to please people. because your arrogant, high maintenance, self centered drama creating selves can kiss my not-interested ass. k?

its funny how things expand, simply because of outside intervention. and by people who shouldn't be involved at all, because it has simply nothing to do with them. if i have something to say, i will say it to your god damn face. if you are one of those fortunate individuals, who know me well enough, then you know that quite well.

some people need to open there eyes, and stop seeing everything from a one-person perspective, cause honey, that isn't going to get you anywhere. it just so happens that some people, have a fucked up family, that happens to be deteriorating minute by minute, which, makes it so stressful to have to worry about unnecessary shit caused by people who think there gods gift to man and therefore are entitled to stir up drama on a daily basis because otherwise there lives would be....imcomplete. i say, i am so glad i have reconciled with so many people this yr, and just put everything behind me despite all we've been through.

yeah, this was one of lets let everything somewhat out entries.

this is going to stab korok in the heart, but i will still say it. I LOVE XANGA.
hahhaa sorry korok for "lauding" xanga, you know i love you.

it's been a while xanga.

We fill ourselves with the illusion that mistakes excite life. Regrets are inevitable, yet deniable. But what if we thought that everything happened for a reason? Would it be so bad to assume that maybe there was some all mighty power that had predestinated what our lives would be? But we can't think like that, because we are realists. And as such realists, we have little time for the games of love and the battles of hate. Instead we slip through life, unnoticed and undermined, but yet persisting to succeed.

so true.

yet, alot has been going on. all of the nonsense that has happenned sophmore year, has taught me one thing. tell the truth. as in, when stuff happens, when you feel something, when you want to say something, just say it. instead of waiting for it to bite your ass.

tell the truth, and get laid = morgans motto. =)

so here's today, a tuesday, during spring break mind you, without anything exciting. and heres me, home on a tuesday, having to reject everyone that invites me somewhere. because i have been grounded for a day, and why you may ask? because i am incapable of recharging rechargable batteries and i choose to have my clothes in my closet a certain way, even though that way doesn't please my mom. bummer.

on the bright side, this break has had some highlights. navids 16th b-day for example. i rather show you some pictures than for me to take the time and explain every little detail. because the pictures are self-explanatory.

the end =)